Infectious... literally and figuratively.

I think I have mentioned that I have been on skates for just about a month... and I have spent 55 out of every 60 minutes of this past month thinking about derby. Almost as soon as I had made it through my first class I knew I was obsessed. I read, I watch videos, I research gear I have no business considering, I embarrass myself skating alone and doing it poorly. Last Friday, when I left class, my teacher said something to the effect of  "practice... but don't practice incorrectly." I'm pretty sure that's all I've been doing. Luckily my full set of protective gear seems to add some kind of aura of legitimacy to what I'm doing. One kid asked me if I worked at the rink. I should have said yes and told him to stop skating the wrong direction.

Last Wednesday I had a root canal and 95% of my worry surrounded whether I would feel ok to skate that night (spoiler: I did not. I took two Xanax and slept for 4 hours). Since that dental atrocity was committed upon tooth #30 I'm pretty sure it's become infected and now I'm worried about how I will feel tomorrow night. Because... tomorrow night... I'm going to go to my first ever official Carolina Rollergirls open practice. I'm very nervous and extremely insecure about this idea so I don't also want to be rocking an explosive tooth. That's how it feels; like my tooth is about the shoot right off my jaw.

Which brings me to another topic... One thing I have learned is that if I am going to play derby, or even just try to play derby, I'm going to have to get very used to leaving my family on their own for several hours several times a week. To be honest, I'm pretty much there but I know a lot of women struggle with guilt about time spent away from their families. This is one of my personal benefits to derby at 40. If  I had tried this when I was younger and my kids were needier I think I would have felt a significant pull about the time spent away from them. Luckily, I have stayed home with them for over 15 years so I feel like I have earned my leave guilt free. I have an almost freakishly supportive spouse. He never once even intimated a moment of discontent while I was an apprentice midwife and gone all night or when I went on a 7 week internship. If he can make it through the insanity of my midwifery training I think he will be just fine.