Back on the horse on wheels

After Monday's soul defeat at the CRG warehouse I was worried about myself. But, then, I realized I had already spent in the neighborhood of $600 on derby so I can't quit. Also, I hate quitting so I'm just not gonna.

I went and skated tonight, seriously wishing for an empty rink so I could look like a complete idiot in privacy. That wish did not come true but I did meet two other derby veterans who took pity on me and gave me some plow stop tips. (Side note: I still cannot perform a plow stop. I think maybe my feet don't bend like other people?) I remembered the words of my coach, "practice... But don't practice wrong" and I believe I made some really good progress on my crossovers. I mean, I probably didn't and Friday she will tell me how and why they are totally wrong but they FELT better. I realized that in order to cross over with any meaning you have to sort of angle your body and kind of try to get as perpendicular to the floor as centrifugal force will allow before you just fall over. I envisioned myself as if I were climbing a mountain side ways and just leaned into that mofo. Oh, and also, LOOK in the direction to you want to go. Sounds like a stupid tip but trust me, it is game changing. And don't flail your arms. And turn your chest in the direction you want to turn.

See, you're on wheels and that seems hard enough but then there are all these steps to remember. "Clench your right foot muscle!" and "Get lower!" (Always lower, FYI.) and "Drag your vagina on the ground!" and no I am not joking about that. I have been told by more than one person that is the key to a double plow stop. The midwife in me wants to tell them that one cannot drag their vagina and that in fact you would want to drag your vulva on the ground.... but, would you?

After a month of being smug about not having any blisters I have a giant fucking blister. In an attempt to put an end to the life ruining foot cramps I have been experiencing I pounded a shit-ton of water before I skated, I took potassium, and I altered the lacing of my skates. Two of these things helped, one did the opposite of help. I'm on top of it; I have blister bandages, vitamin E, and moleskin. I will not let the searing pain of a 3" blister take me down. It never ceases to amaze me what people will go through to play derby; it really goes to show you that it is an obsession.